real life and real joy

i recently attended a women's conference and returned with some ideas to share. the theme of the weekend was "real life, real joy." the featured speaker was mary southerland and she shared a lot about the storms in life and joy in the midst of them.

one quote that i really liked was "every experience in life is a tutor for contentment." i feel that a princess should be able to say with the apostle paul "for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength"(phil 4:12,13). not every princess has a maid and a cook and a chauffeur...but we should still have joy.

joy was defined as "the deeply-rooted confidence that God is in control." and i believe that this is true. God is with us through every storm. another quotei liked was "don't talk to God about your storms- talk to your storms about your God." that just gets me excited when i remember how awesome my God is- there is nothing that surprises Him or is too difficult for Him to handle single-handedly.

the bottom line: walk with your head held high knowing that the King is always taking care of his daughters, his princesses. jeremiah 29:11 says "for I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." there should not even be a hint of worry or fear in our lives- God has everything under control.

this pregnant princess is grumpy

i don't want to write anything. i don't feel like being nice. i'm not sure if this is okay to admit. i don't picture a princess as having grumpy days. i'm not upset at anyone in particular- i just feel grumpy. and i'm not sure how to pull myself out of this slump.

my castle is currently under renovation. i got this wonderful idea this past weekend to rearrange all of the bedrooms. that means my oldest daughter's room moved to the pink room that the others two girls were sharing; those girls moved into the master bedroom; my furniture and stuff was moved out to my office (which is much bigger than our other room, but has no closet); the couch and t.v. that were in my office were put in the room designated as the nursery- so it is now a cozy family/t.v. room; and finally the crib and rocking chair were placed in my oldest daughter anna's room (there will also be room in there for a small extra bed for guests-specifically grandma). thankfully my amazing husband abraham got the brilliant idea to enlist the help of the youth group that would be meeting at our house sunday night. so most of the moving was completed within an hour and a half. nonetheless, there is still a lot of stuff out that hasn't found a place to land- it is still looking for a home. and i just don't have the energy to take on this overwhelming project of organizing this mess. maybe i need a bigger garbage can.

i just feel like a horrible mother, too. i want so badly to clean up the house that i focus any energy i can find-which isn't much- on cleaning. i don't feel like i have any attention to give my kids. then they act up in order to get attention and i get upset with their antics and i send everyone outside. i hope we can survive the arrival of this new kid. i just want to cry- hormones can be so frustrating sometimes.

i'm not really fishing for sympathy. i just hoped i'd feel better if i let out some of my grumpy feelings.

on a lighter note, my good friend sarah gave birth to her fourth son this afternoon. i am so excited for her- she's not pregnant anymore. i feel that she has what it takes to raise these little men to be Godly princes: a relationship with God, an incredibly dedicated and committed husband, and a sense of humor. (keep up the good work, sarah).

okay, i'm done now. my mom is coming to visit me tomorrow for her birthday and i'd like to take her to get manicures. i sure hope i don't feel grumpy tomorrow. i can't help feeling lumpy, but i don't want to be grumpy.

an open book

here is another aspect of princess-ness for your consideration. her life is an open book. every detail of her life will be examined by those that she leads. even though she may not know it, she lives her life in the spotlight. those around her will watch her looking for an example to follow.

with this in mind, we must live our lives in such a way that if someone were to copy us exactly, it would be okay. i think of the apostle paul's statement in 1 corinthians 11:1 to "follow my example as i follow the example of Christ." a christian woman should be able to echo this phrase. anybody- including her children- should be able to look at their life and say "if i live like that i will be happier because i'm walking in wholeness and purity."

when others look at us, they should see examples of loving relationships, the proper way to deal with stress and conflict, and a model for holy living. if these traits do not currently represent how you are living, here are some ideas for improvement. find good christian books that address these topics; join a small group at your church that will discuss an area that you are currently struggling in; ask a friend to hold you accountable in an area that you'd like to grow in. if you need assistance in getting pointed in the right direction, let me know. i've used many different resources to become a better wife, mother, minister, etc.

under construction

princesses aren't perfect

anyone who's known me very long can attest to the fact that i'm not perfect (right abe?). but i try hard to do what i believe to be the "right" thing. all i can say is that i'm still under construction.

a princess shouldn't whine. but sometimes it's so hard not to. especially when potty-trained 4year olds continue to wet their beds; and i'm plagued with a headache that confines me to my bed- that isn't made today; and i'm hungry for something besides the frozen foods i've stocked my freezer with (corndogs and burritos are only appetizing for so long).

a princess doesn't leave the house without her makeup on. i'm thankful for my big sunglasses. this morning when i took anna to kindergarten i broke this rule. i ended up having to pack a sack lunch and sew on a button for anna during my personal prep time. so i took her with no makeup on. i did feel a little funny walking into the school wearing sunglasses, but my pride wouldn't let me take them off. (actually i'm just practicing for the day when the paparazzi follow me everywhere).

a princess reaches out to others. that's what i'm trying to do now- to let all of you other princesses out there know that perfection isn't expected. it's okay- i hope- to occaisionally let PBS babysit while you take a nap; it's okay to take time out to pamper yourself (i haven't figuered out how to do that for myself yet, today; maybe i'll make myself a chocolate milkshake). just know that you're not alone in your struggles today. no one is looking down on you. especially if you're very pregnant (sarah), or temporarily a single parent (maggie).

a princess is real- with herself and others.so, just in case you think i may be approaching a perfect life, refer back to this post and remember that we all have moments that we'd like to cover up. but instead, find a friend and just let it all out. and then move on. that's what i'm going to do now- move on. i'm going to make my bed and then lay down with anna and talk to her about her day.

moving right along...

at this point, i'm not sure what to write about, but feel like i need something new. something that isn't as heavy as my last post.

i am currently- and have been for the past five years- an independent beauty consultant with Mary Kay cosmetics. during this period, i feel that i have learned many things that have helped me become more prepared to be a princess. a princess is constantly God focused, family focused and others focused (in that order). she seeks to build up and encourage others. she is enthusiastic. everyone loves to be around happy, enthusiastic people, so be one! a princess genuinely cares about people and shows it by being availabe to listen to them.

these are just some things that i am continuing to work on and feel are important for any princess. i am not in any way suggesting we should pretend to be someone we are not. but God loves people and wants to love them through us- His daughters. He wants to use our hands and feet and ears to communicate His love.

so, on that note, take time today to let God pour His love into you. then you will be fulfilled and have something to give to others as well.

princesses and pornography

i was confronted with something today that i can't imagine my regular readers have ever had to deal with. i never even imagined myself writing on the topic.
i sat down to write a new entry today and decided to first go online and see if there might already be blogs on princess living. i innocently went to a site that revealed a little bit more about a certain princess than i wanted to see. what shocked me though was, even as a female, i had a hard time looking away. i thought this was just a guy issue. but here i was- a pastor's wife- struggling with uninvited sexual feelings with inapproriate pictures. well i did close the site, but continued to feel like i wanted to go back.
there have been other times, as well, where unexpected images have popped up on my screen. i have not had a problem telling my husband the nature of what i had seen and my related feelings. after all, it was not my fault. i did not pursue those experiences.
now, here i was today, fighting the urge to see more things. i know porn is wrong, but wasn't quite sure why it would be a problem for women... for me. i tried to justify it- research of our culture, etc. i decided that i did not have a problem now, but it could turn into one. i visited xxxchurch.com and found an article at trueu.org that dealt with women and porn. both helped alot. what i gleaned was that "to use porn is to wallow in sin" (which i don't want to do) and when you use porn you are objectifying another person - created in the image of God (which i certainly do not want to do). so i decided to walk away from the computer- and went to make my bed. i thanked the Lord for helping me through this test. it sure wasn't fun. and i thought, maybe just maybe, what i went through today will help someone else.
like i said, i never thought i'd be writing about this topic. i think of myself as very pure and unaffected by many of the world's influences. but i saw today that i'm just as vulnerable as anyone else.
Psalm 101:3 says "i will refuse to look at anything vile and vulgar." i think that is the secret: stay away from the things that will cause you to want to hide from the light of the King.
Ephesians 5:11 says "have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them."
i don't intend to visit any more ungodly sites. 1John 1:7 says "if we walk in the light as He is in the light we have fellowship with one another and the blood of Jesus, His son purifies us from all sin." that is what i want- fellowship with others and purification from all sin.
so there you have it- a princess leads a godly life that others can follow. there cannot be anything that she is afraid of exposing.
if you have a 'dark' secret, find someone you trust to confess it to (God works), then repent and begin walking in the light- today.

english muffins and messy castles

the nice thing about being a real princess is the fact that regardless of how you look or what you do you are still a princess (it's just harder for people to recognize you as one). i'm speaking specifically in reference to my morning.
i was just so tired that i stayed in bed as long as i could- 'til almost 9am. my 3 angelic 'princesses in training' did not share these same desires- they were up at 7:30. and wanting breakfast. i told them they could get out the english muffins we had just purchased yesterday. they didn't have a problem with that- they did however struggle with separating the muffins. when i finally got up there were muffin pieces throughout the house- most were in the kitchen garbage. i guess when the english muffins became too broken up to fit in the toaster they threw them away and started over.
anyway, this mess doesn't really seem too noticeable- the whole kitchen is a disaster. i haven't done dishes for days; there are sticky spots on the linoleum that have been waiting to be mopped for longer than i care to admit. anna was commenting that the dishes in the sink smell like our garbage can. you could eat off of my dining room carpet- it's covered with food. i just get so overwhelmed thinking about initiating a thorough cleaning. i'm sure everyone will flock to the targeted area and need to be held, or need to eat, or need a dispute resolved, etc. then my momentum will be halted- so i don't start.
the thing is, whenever i get moving, my pregnant belly tightens up and i feel out of breath and exhausted. and i haven't even done anything yet. but i need a break and i put everything back on hold.
my point is, no matter what your castle looks like, you are still a princess. even without makeup on, you are still a princess. even when your head hurts so bad that you want to cry, you are still a princecss. even when you are too tired to adequately communicate with your prince, you are still a princess.
the thing to remember is that your strength comes from the King of kings. take time to talk to Him throughout your day. ask Him for help- he will be with you. if you need wisdom- ask and you will receive. (james 1:5). remember, the important things in life are people- not things. the dishes aren't going anywhere- neither is the smell. spend time with the ones you love. especially take time to be with the One who loves you more than anyone- and He will take care of you.